August

Make Goal Setting a Family Affair

Posted August 29, 2005

Setting goals helps motivate students, give purpose to their work, and better plan their time. Oxford Learning recommends that parents and children set goals for success together because “we decisions” are better than “me decisions”. By collaborating during goal setting, parents and kids can open the lines of communication.

To begin, simply sit down with your child. Based on a review of last year, let him/her tell you about the goals he/she would like to set for the new school year. Listen carefully to what your child would like to strive for and achieve. Be supportive, be respectful and be encouraging.

Achievable, Measurable, Believable Goals

Work with your child to develop and set goals that are relevant, but most importantly the goals must be achievable, measurable and believable. This is critical and the underlying key to setting successful goals. Once the goals are set, the time is right to build a reasonable, realistic plan to achieve them and measure success. Periodic reviews between you and your child about how he/she is doing will keep the positive momentum going.

As a parent, it’s important for you to know that it’s never too early or too late to teach your child the fundamentals to help him/her succeed. It’s also important to remember that Oxford Learning is here to help your child develop the right habits and skills so that he/she can achieve goals with confidence and success.

From Sizzle to Fizzle

Posted August 23, 2005

Every school year begins with students, parents and teachers who are full of optimism and committed to making this the best year ever. Unfortunately, for some, it doesn’t take long for the sizzle to fizzle and for students to fall behind, leading to anxiety, stress and frustration for students, their parents and even for some teachers.

Too often parents expect miracles.

Chances are that if your child had trouble with a subject last year and didn’t work on it over the summer, the challenges could be even more overwhelming and demoralizing in the new school year. If you wait until the first report card, it’s often too late. Parents can help their children avoid the vicious cycle of falling behind, then playing catch-up for the rest of the year, by reviewing last year’s report card before school begins and quickly recognizing the symptoms of academic challenges.

Parents often allow six to eight weeks for a “settling in” period before they begin to monitor their child’s grades and school performance, but doing so can be detrimental to a student’s learning momentum. By the time October rolls around, some students are already becoming frustrated and the learning curve is too steep. All of a sudden, minor problems become major obstacles to success, and very stressful situations develop for everyone involved.

Setting goals is critical to success.

It’s critical to set goals early to ensure your child is happy and has the confidence and know-how to thrive and enjoy school. An objective third party, such as Oxford Learning, can help open the door of communication to set goals and rekindle confidence and a willingness to step outside of the comfort zone when it comes to tackling academics.

Once you’ve identified your child’s goals, strengths, weaknesses and learning style, make sure that you share this information with your child’s teacher(s), who can help guide and monitor progress. The more professional the support you can have on your child’s learning team, the better.

The Trouble With Words

Posted August 17, 2005

Your son’s report card is sitting on the table and you are not happy. Math is lower than it should be, his teacher noted that he did not hand in all his assignments, and he got a “Needs Improvement” for effort. What do we do? If you are like most of us, you will sit down with your son and have a little talk.

How well do those talks work? Do they actually motivate our kids or do they just fly in one ear and out the other? Maybe it is the words! When we are stressed, frustrated, tired or annoyed, we sometimes use words that work against us. Often they bring about the opposite result. Most of these counter-productive words occur at or near the beginning of a sentence. Following are some examples of words that can do more harm than good.

“Why?”

This word is usually followed by “don’t you, can’t you, won’t you,” or “did you.” For example:
“Why can’t you keep your room clean?”

The word Why asks for an answer, but we are not really asking for information when we utter it. We are just blaming or criticizing. Kids will not be motivated to help if they feel that they are being criticized. In fact, for most children, this question cannot be answered. Most children do not know why they do things, they just act on their emotions.

Leave out the Why and change the question to a clear, precise statement such as, “I want you to keep your room clean.” Even if your child could answer the question, why would you want to know the answer anyway? You really just want a change to occur. Be clear about your expectations and you will achieve them more often than not.

“If…”

In this context, the word If is usually followed by the word “you,” especially when it is being used as a threat. For example: “If you do that again, you’ll be sorry!” or “If you don’t treat your clothes better, I won’t buy you any more.”

The problem here is that we often can’t carry out our threats. They are uttered when we are angry and not really rational. But, if we don’t carry through on our threats, our children become confused and we lose our ability to speak with authority. Often the threat uttered this way is out of proportion to the actual offence.

Use the words, “as soon as” or “when” instead of If. These words are more precise and positive. Kids will not perceive them as a threat and they encourage you to stay rational and to weigh the deed against the consequences. For example: “As soon as you have hung up your shirt, we can play that game.”

“Who Started It?”

What do we really expect from this question? That the guilty party will own up? Not likely. By asking this question we are declaring that we want to assess blame instead of resolving the problem. The guilty party sees punishment ahead and is sure to keep quiet.

Instead, take a neutral problem-solving approach such as, “You two seem to have a problem. There is only one TV here and you know what I am like – if I hear too much arguing, I will probably just turn it off completely. So, instead of letting that happen, how can you work together so that you will both be happy?”

“Never,” “Ever,” and “Always”

These words etch a trait into a concrete reality. “You never pay attention to her feelings!” and can become self-fulfilling prophecies. In addition, they are damaging to an emerging self-concept because kids will believe what you tell them.

Instead, describe your expectations clearly and make it plain that you expect them to be lived up to. “You know that I expect you to be kind to your little sister. I will not allow violence or threats to be used. Please find a way to fix your problem that is kinder and less likely to get you into trouble with me.”

“You”

These are blaming statements and can damage a child’s self-esteem. “You’re a bad boy”; “You don’t care about anybody else!”; “You’re acting like a baby.”

These are large statements about a child’s character instead of specific statements about his behaviour! They are negative and accusatory and will put kids on the defensive.

Instead, use I statements that describe your own feelings and expectations. “I’m angry about this behaviour” or “I am upset when other people’s property is not respected.”

As parents, we must learn how to motivate our children. That is part of our job. We can make our own lives much easier if we pay more attention to what we say and the words we use.

Try to follow this old axiom:
“If it is important, say less, not more.”

You will probably be amazed at the results.

Homework Wars

Posted August 13, 2005

Even if your child thinks homework is useless or stupid, it still has to be done. Fortunately, there are ways to help kids complete homework assignments and give parents peace of mind.

First, don’t try to change your child’s opinion about the value of homework. Instead, acknowledge that its very existence is a blight upon his or her potential for a happy life.

Instead of berating them for bad attitudes and sermonizing about responsibility, concede this: “You do seem to have a lot of homework. It seems that you don’t have any time for anything else.”

When your child believes that you understand his or her perspective, he or she won’t consider you a cop from school. That’s why we start not with speeches but with listening. After you have established trust, here are some things to talk about:

“I know you believe that homework is stupid. But it exists. So, we must somehow do it.”
“Wouldn’t it be cool if we could discover a way to get the homework done and still have some personal life left over?”
“What if I could show you a way to cut your homework time in half?”

You may have to spend a little time selling this, but persevere because there are almost no kids who wouldn’t like an easier way to do things. What you have to do is help your child organize and learn how to do homework.

Begin with organization

Set up a study area in your home and stock it with all the tools needed for homework.
Sit down with your child and a large calendar to analyze his or her commitments. Plot out all the activities, lessons, sports, jobs and so on that your child has. This may reveal that your child is doing too much.
Once you know the schedule, you can begin to plan certain times for homework every night. Work with your child while you make this schedule. Don’t try to cut the number of homework hours down yet — that will come with practice. Simply plan for the number of hours currently being spent or the number of hours the teacher suggests.

How to do homework

The most common problems are not knowing what to do or how to start. Begin by making sure that your child is able to determine what is needed to complete the assignment. Most kids tend to glaze over instructions without really understanding them. Then, decide how long it will take.

Make sure he or she knows all the essential requirements:

What am I supposed to do?
Do I know how to do that?
Do I have all the tools (books, material, etc.) necessary?
How long will it take me?

In the beginning, you will have to help your child plan and track the time each section takes. Work toward the goal of completing each section within the allotted time.

It will seem like a hassle, but follow these simple rules and homework will be done faster and more accurately — I guarantee it.

Phonics = Reading

Posted August 8, 2005

Just the other day I heard a teacher exclaim, “No one seems to know how to teach reading these days!” Parents are demanding a return to the teaching of reading by phonics, while school board trustees and administrators claim their whole language reading programs are effective. Teachers are often confused and kids are stuck in the middle.

A child first hears language by listening to his/her parents. All the language children learn at first is through their ears. They hear sounds, learn to distinguish the differences between these sounds, then learn to blend these diverse sounds together. Once that skill is mastered, children begin to understand what the individually blended sounds (words) stand for, and how to form new language concepts. The next step seems logical. If a child can speak, then (s)he already understands all the concepts of language implicitly. If they can speak in clear sentences, they already have comprehension! Our task should be to teach them how to access the incredible amount of stored knowledge and literature humankind possesses. How? We teach children to understand the code or script used to write our language. The building blocks of reading are letters and there are only 26 of them. All words flow from these basic 26 units. If for no other reason than it is logical and rational, we should consider using only phonics-first reading programs for our children. It is empowering and important for the development of their self-esteem.

But there is more! Much more. When we throw away phonics as the first and primary method of reading and switch to the whole word (whole language) method, we are telling our kids something that isn’t true. We are saying that there is no code; that there is no order to the development of language. We are saying that words, NOT letters, are the blocks of language. But, you make words from letters; you don’t make new words by two or three other words together. Words are NOT the blocks of the language – letters are! However, that’s not what we tell our kids. By depriving them of the understanding that letters, not words, are the blocks of the language, we are making reading incoherent! It can’t be understood; there is no pattern. It can just be memorized. Can you imagine having to memorize BY SIGHT every single word in the English language? Well that’s what we condemn kids to do when we teach them whole words not letters.

This causes another problem. The problem of thinking. If we begin by the whole word method, we encourage and reward memorization and estimation. If you don’t know the word, guess. By allowing students to think that guessing is okay, we are pretending that words don’t have specific meanings. Wrong! Every word stands for one, and only one specific concept.

It is not true that any old meaning will do. It is not true; and to imply it is fair is not to the student. It says that accuracy is not important (but it is) and that fuzzy or ’sort of ’ thinking is all right (but it isn’t).

Think critically

Then what happens? Students who can’t use language correctly, do not learn to think critically or to problem-solve well. They don’t take academic risks, and they need structured programs and lots of help and guidance – all of which impede the development of real self-esteem. They don’t ’get it’, don’t make the connections, or see the relationships. They are disorganized, not motivated, sometimes confused, angry, or defensive. They are not achieving their potential! They haven’t learned how to think critically.

The problem begins when we cast the first seeds of doubt in the pristine minds of our children. A child who has learned to speak already knows implicitly the importance of precision. Watch kids play and you’ll observe how carefully they keep each other accurate. Understanding even a single word means that a child understands the difference between the meaning of that word and any others. This is a major issue!

Understanding the meaning

Children insist on clarity, honesty, and integrity in their dealings with the world. Children work diligently to understand. They do not leap forward carelessly. They study, watch, try, and learn. When they feel they are right, they internalize their discoveries and move forward to new ones. If we tell the child to ignore all that (s)he already knows about how to learn; if we say accuracy isn’t important and that our written language doesn’t have a code*, we are saying that the child has been using his/her mind WRONG. The truth they figured out for themselves can’t be trusted; and that they really don’t know how to use their own minds; that they are wrong for life! If one thinks of the amount of struggle an adult goes through in order to understand the why’s and how’s of his/her life, and then considers that this same struggle is occurring daily in the hearts and minds of our children, one might begin to see why it is so important for them to feel that they are capable of understanding. Their very survival depends upon it.

But our reading programs pull the rug out from under our children. We discount the achievement of their minds and the confidence and pride they have developed as a result of that great achievement. In fact, what a child accomplishes in learning to speak is probably the greatest achievement of his/her life. It is certainly the hardest. Instead of celebrating this great achievement – that required precision, logic and understanding – we tell them to memorize and trust. We drive a spear into the very soul of their self-confidence and feelings of self-esteem. It is no wonder that they prefer to memorize and live in a structured universe! If their own minds are not safe or competent, then the only other option is trust and follow.

But it’s just a reading program you say! And teachers love kids and want to help them. And school boards don’t want to cause problems; they want to educate kids as effectively as possible. Yes, all that may be true, but it doesn’t change the facts. All the good intentions in the world will not change the principles of a bad program and will not lessen the severity of its effects. Whole word, or whole language, reading programs are not teaching our kids to read well and are a major part of the reason why students are not thinking more clearly and effectively.

We have known how to teach kids to read for centuries. Modern teaching methodology has produced more creative and effective teachers. Let’s use these strengths to marry excellent teachers with effective programs. It’s time to call it a bad bargain and say goodbye to whole language.

* some schools forbid teachers from telling kids that words are made up of letters which have specific sounds – it’s a secret

Help Your Children Set Goals for Success – Top Ten Tips

Posted August 8, 2005

The new school year is an exhilarating time for both parents and children. Everyone is filled with high hopes and big expectations for academic success and achievement. But how do you ensure this feeling remains throughout the entire year, and doesn’t just fall flat after the first few weeks? How do you keep up the learning momentum and your child’s motivation? Start talking and set goals together.

The education experts at Oxford Learning, Canada’s leaders in preparing children for lifelong success, offer the following top ten tips for parents to help their children set goals for learning success for the school year and for a lifetime. By incorporating these tips into your family’s day-to-day routine, any child at any age can achieve greater confidence, self-esteem and success!

Top Ten Tips for Parents

Tip #1: Act Now and Set Goals Early

Before school begins, sit down with your child and review last year’s report card. Discuss successes and areas that need improvement and set goals in each subject area.
By setting goals early, you’ll ensure your child is happy and confident and has the ability to succeed from September through June.
Don’t wait until the first report card – children can fall too far behind and be left playing catch up for the rest of the year. Remember, children who start strong, stay ahead.

Tip #2: Take the Time and Listen Carefully

Listen carefully to the goals they would like to set for the year. But, don’t limit them to academics; include extra curricular activities such as clubs or sports as well.
Be calm and show your children that they have your undivided attention. You just may find out more from them than you ever expected they would share. Ask what they are concerned about. Are they anxious about anything in particular? What were the biggest challenges they faced last year?

Tip #3: Set Goals That Are Achievable, Measurable and Believable

Successful goal setting means that goals are achievable, measurable and believable.
Achievable: Goals need to be set at a level that is more advanced than the level the child is currently working at, but not so advanced that it is unachievable or beyond reach.
Measurable: Goals need to be measurable so that both parents and students are able to track progress and success.
Believable: Children must believe in the goal and believe in their ability to achieve it for success.

Tip #4: Set Goals That Are Relevant To Your Child

Children must be motivated, otherwise nothing can be accomplished. It’s essential that they perceive the goal as being of value to them, positive and beneficial in order for them to want to act on it. Positive thinking is a very powerful thing, so if they feel as though they can meet the challenge, they will.
Remember, goals are very personal and individual so make sure they truly reflect your child and who he/she is.

Tip #5: It’s Never Too Early or Too Late to Set Goals

No matter what your child’s age or level of ability, it’s never too early or too late to teach them the fundamentals to help them succeed, and this includes setting goals.

Tip #6: Make Goal Setting a Family Affair

Be part of the solution – sit down with your child and set goals together.
Once these lines of communication are open and you have a dialogue going with your child, make a point of keeping it up.
Share your goals with family members (e.g., over dinner, in the car ride to school) so that everyone knows and can support your child as they work towards achieving these goals.

Tip #7: Be Supportive, Respectful and Encouraging

Show your child your respect by talking with them about their goals, as opposed to at them – let them take the lead.
Express to them your support of what they are trying to achieve and let them know that you are there to help them and encourage them every step of the way. This will help increase their confidence.
Be proud of your child’s efforts as well as accomplishments.

Tip #8: Meet with a Third Party to Build a Plan for Success

Communicating with children can be difficult for parents, particularly when it concerns issues about school and grades. That’s where Oxford Learning can help.
Once you and your child have sat down together to identify their goals, make an appointment with one of the experts at your local Oxford Learning centre. They’ll help you and your child build a reasonable and realistic plan for achieving these goals with confidence, ease and success.

Tip #9: Incorporate Frequent Check-Ins

Monthly reviews of how your child stands against their goals are a great way to keep the momentum moving forward. It’s also a great way to measure your child’s success and progress in achieving their goals because it gives them a timeline to work towards.
Monthly check-ins will also let you know when the original goal has been achieved and that it’s time to set a new one.

Tip #10: Reinforce and Celebrate When Goals are Achieved

When goals are met, celebrate! Positive re-enforcement will help to encourage your child to set new goals and continue on the path to success.
Limit the rewards you give your child on an ongoing basis, otherwise the rewards will become the motivator. Remember, the achievement of their goal is a reward in and of itself.
Look back on your child’s accomplishments together to re-enforce progress and capabilities.

Dr. Nick Whitehead, co-founder and President, Oxford Learning, and Ms. Kelley McGregor, Director of Training and Operation, Oxford Learning, are available for interviews.

The First Six Weeks of School – Grades 7 to 8

Posted August 6, 2005

Getting off to a good start – What to Watch For

Weak self-esteem or confidence.
Lack of organization.
Not setting goals.
Weak basic skills.

Tips for the First Three Weeks

Social issues emerge large as children mature. This transition often triggers problems with self-esteem as school challenges are compounded with social ones. It is important to help your kids learn to believe in themselves. Try, “I can see that you are upset about your mark in Math. How can we work together to overcome this difficult situation?” instead of, “You have to study harder to pass Math. Why don’t you ever listen to what I tell you?”
As social pressures mount, you will be required to help your kids juggle friends, sports, and even some part-time jobs. Do not lose focus, and keep monitoring the day planner. Many good courses are available to help kids develop advanced planning and organization skills.
At this age, a long-term goal often involves plans only for the next weekend. If is essential for students in grades 7 and 8 to begin to learn to set goals and plan to reach them. Seek help if necessary.
Consider enrolling the services of a supplemental education specialist to help develop appropriate basic academic skills.

Tips for the Second Three Weeks

Continue your support.
Reinforce the use of the day planner and monitor it daily. Make sure than tests and projects are also broken down into component parts and entered into the day planner. Every student at this level should have extra work in the evening on top of any homework assigned.
Reinforce and celebrate when goals are met. Help in the setting of new goals. Make sure to include personal as well as academic goals.
It is essential that all academic skills are sound by now. Spelling, grammar, reading fluently with comprehension, and math skills must all be excellent. If not, act immediately.

Tips for Parents

Regularly encourage children with their homework and assignments.
Instill excellence as your family standard, encourage a strong work ethic; and set high but realistic standards.
Give priority to homework, assignments and other academic activities over non-academic endeavors, television watching, music, telephone calls, friends and part-time jobs.
Meet with your child’s teacher and get to know current schoolwork and activities.
Make sure you understand your child’s academic strengths and weaknesses.
Have a quiet place to study at home that is free from distractions. Keep reference materials, books, dictionaries, encyclopedias, and so on nearby.

The First Six Weeks of School – Grades 4 to 6

Posted August 5, 2005

Getting off to a good start – What to Watch For

The workload increases dramatically and students must learn new organization skills.
Basic skills, such as reading, writing, spelling and math should be mastered by now. If your child is struggling to read fluently, it is time to take action. Students in grades 5 and 6 are at some risk if these skills are still weak.
Too much time should not be spent on homework

Tips for the First Three Weeks

Reinforce the use of a day planner to record daily homework assignments, deadlines, after-school activities and upcoming quizzes and tests.
If basic academic skills are weak, consider enrolling the services of a supplemental education specialist to help develop appropriate basic academic skills.
Do not judge your child’s homework requirements by the first three weeks of school. It often takes three weeks or more for a class to have a homework rhythm established.

Tips for the Second Three Weeks

Reinforce the use of the day planner and monitor it daily.
If basic academic skills are weak, consider enrolling the services of a supplemental education specialist to help develop appropriate basic academic skills.
Keep track of how much time kids are spending on their homework. More than one-half hour in Grade 4 and one hour for grades 5 and 6 probably means that they are not getting their work completed in school. It may also suggest that they need help with organization.

The First Six Weeks of School – Grades 1 to 3

Posted August 4, 2005

Getting off to a good start – What to Watch For

Young children often have difficulty concentrating, paying attention and getting settled.
They may have trouble learning to read, write or do math.
Organization may be a challenge.

Tips for the First Three Weeks

It often takes time for young children to learn the “school game.” They are restless and unable to adjust to the new classroom environment. Practice for this by playing different concentration games – even make a game out of sitting still or not moving. Time each other and try to make each other move or laugh, etc. Parents should play these games with pupils.
The primary grades are for the teaching of basic academic skills, such as reading, writing and math. Students graduating from Grade 3 should already be reading fluently, writing without spelling mistakes and understanding basic math concepts.
While planning is not essential in these grades, it is an excellent low-pressure time to introduce these skills. Kids will love having their own planners and will enjoy writing down their different activities. Begin by entering personal activities in the planner – soccer games, dance classes, birthday parties.

Tips for the Second Three Weeks

Play games such as Parcheesi and Concentration to help continue in the development of concentration skills.
Begin to break words into syllables and play listening games. Practice sounding out words as you read with your children every evening. Don’t just read stories, play with them, and discuss them. Who did what? Why? What could have been different? Be silly! Enjoy! Have fun!
As teachers assign reading, projects or homework, enter the work into the planner. By the time your little student is in the senior grades, time management problems will be a thing of the past.