How to beat the word NO
How many times have you heard the word no in your life? Probably quite a few. Maybe even hundreds or possibly thousands. Probably you are even guilty of saying NO.
The thing about no, and not to put too fine a point on it—well, it’s negative.
Nobody believed IBM and Apple that computers would be small enough for personal use and be in every house in North America and Nicolaus Copernicus, when he revealed his sun—at—the—center model of the universe, met with outcry from the church. You can bet that they heard NO a few times in their lives. But they didn’t let NO stop them. So, what was it that made them keep going? What was that one thing that made them continue on with their quests? What made them turn NO’s into yes? The answer is curiosity, an open mind, and a willingness to take risks.
To that, we would also like to add passion, and (not that we’re biased or anything) education.
You could say that education led men like Copernicus and Bill Gates to discover their passions, which in turn led them to discover great things.
Let’s look at a few more examples:
- Science that led Ben Franklin to harness electricity
- Astrophysicists that created the technology for space travel.
- Orthopedics lead to the development of artificial knees and hips
- Engineering lead to the creation of television
What do you think were the reaction to that first physicist who said that it was possible to send people into space and walk on the moon? Ridiculous! And when Ben said that he was going to fly a kite and capture electricity? Preposterous!
When you’re told NO—when you’re staring into the face of adversity—when the challenge is the hardest—that’s when the passionate rise to the occasion, use what they know and change the world.
To do this requires adopting a paradigm shift, a change in thinking. When someone tells you No, consider it an open challenge to achieve excellence.
The greatest minds of our time have seen NO not as an endpoint but as an opportunity.
“No” can be such a limiting word. Other limiting words and phrases that we hear at our Howell center include “I can’t”, “I don’t know”,”I’m not smart enough” from our kids or “but he’s got a disability” or “she’s lazy” from parents. These are phrases we try to remove from both our students and parents mind-set. As Henry Ford said, “If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.” Everyone is capable of learning, it’s just that not everyone learns the same way. Don’t dwell on it, celebrate it and success will come!
About a month ago I said to someone (a friend) that the word “NO” is a negative word. I was rediculed and compounded more after the internet stated that the word “NO” is not a negative word. He called people with doctorates’ degrees, educators,family and friends,etc. and they said that “NO”is not a negative word. I must say thanks for the update that “NO” is a negative word.Thanks alot.
When we say No to our differently abled children it teaches them how to set boundaries for themselves, to listen to themselves and to be able to gauge appropriate feedback from others vs abusive ’tape’ type self talk. When we say NO, you may not steal small objects to fit into your hand so that you can be calm. We help them to acheive. Mastery of self, understanding of WHY they felt a need to do the action. We also provide a YES alternative that creates a win-win situation, if such is possible. Why is everyone soooo afraid of the word NO? All of this secret stuff and self help buzzwords to abdicate personal responsibility for mastering self is at the root of MANY of our current labels and needs for medications, when teaching appropriate bounds and how to get ones needs met appropriately would be a better route. Mother of Aspie, sensory processing dysfunction, and adhd. Elisa
Hello,
I am a communication student and I am researching the word “no” and its biopsychosocial effects on communication & health. It intereting to me that I feel the same way about no as your article. I am desperate for research leads. Nobody is doing research on “choice words” that I can find. If you have any leads I would be so grateful.
Thank you,
“You could say that education led men like Copernicus and Bill Gates to discover their passions, which in turn led them to discover great things.” Did it lead any women to any great things?
We’ve done some pretty awesome stuff too! I like your points about the word no. Sometimes it’s too easy to accept it without thinking about it, so challenging yourself to take a second look is important.